You May Now Kiss the Bride (Part 1)

I know it has been an exceptionally long time since I last posted anything. However, I will tell you....I have been CRA-RA-ZY busy with all the wedding planning and things leading up to last Saturday. And now, it's official. I'm Mrs. Haas. Wow.

To be honest, the whole thing is nothing if not unreal to me. I've been dreaming of my wedding my entire life, planning everything for the past eleven months, and now, in one day, it was over in an amazing blur.

The day started out with me and my bridesmaids heading over to the hair salon to have our hair and make-up done. Andrew went with us as personal driver and photographer to the bride and her attendants; he did a fantastic job with everything. In fact, the girls at the salon couldn't believe how great he did, what with being surrounded by feminity. He was such a great help and a great reliever of stress, along with all the girls.

When we were done with our hair...it was RAINING quite hard. So we opted out of our outdoor photos at my parents' farm and headed straight over to the church. We spend the next several hours getting ready and helping one another get our dresses on and the bouquets laid out. We almost had a minor mishap with my dress (oh boy....), but everything turned out wonderfully in the end.

The day continued getting busier and crazier. The girls and I were constantly going back and forth from the sanctuary getting photos taken by our amazing photographer, Saeed, as well as my Aunt Jen. He did a FANTASTIC JOB with everything, and Jen was able to get a great bunch of photos as well! I did photos with the guys (not Jon), and the girls were able to get pics with the guys AND Jon pre-ceremony, which was a great time-saver. My dress was super long and flowing, which did make things a little hard to manage during photos; however, everything went off without a hitch!

My time with my sister and mom that day was very special. We had a lot of photos taken together, and a lot of special moments in private. The only thing was that, every time one of them started crying, I lost it too! My sister and I shared a very special dance at the reception (more on that later), and my mom and I were able to have some very sweet mother-daughter moments all throughout the day. I love you both very much; thank you for all the work you did to make that day so amazing. You are two of my very best friends. Thank you for preparing me to be a bride, as well as a wife, to Jon.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternal moment in time and space, my family and bridal party arrived at the brides' room in order to have a time of intimate prayer as a large group. We then managed to avoid breaking down crying (for the most part...) to have a time of family prayer. It was such a special time for me with my family (including my biological family).

The ceremony went by in a blur for me. I remember standing in the wings, clutching Ian's arm as if life depended on it, and hearing the music drifting out of the closed church doors. I remember the doors opening and seeing the crowd of people all waiting for me to enter. I remember walking into the church with Ian, the transfer from Ian to my daddy, David, and breaking down BAWLING before I hit the back of the aisle. One of the hardest things for me was the realization that my life with my family would be so much different. The very thought of leaving my sister, my mom, and my daddy is still an emotional thing for me. When Daddy walked me down the aisle, it was one of the most intimate moments I had with him that day, aside from our dance together at the reception. I love my Daddy very much; thank you for being such a great father to me, Poppi! You prepared me for this so well....you will always be the first man that held my heart, and I will always be your baby girl.

I remember a few brief details...and then, I remember Jon lifting my veil and dipping me down for the most amazing kiss of my life. I was, from that moment on, his wife. Mrs. Haas! Jon, you have made my life complete. Becoming your wife was such a blessing to me. I am so happy and honored to have been chosen by you to spend this life as your exclusive partner, lover, and dearest friend. I love you, my husband, and I will until death do us part and beyond.

(More coming soon.....for more pictures, visit my Aunt Debbie's photography blog,

stu-diod.blogspot.com)

When Life Gives You Lemons....

This has been a lemon-y week for me. Literally. It consisted of my diving into the kitchen to create two new recipes that I discovered in Taste of Home -- Lemon Curd Cupcakes and Lemon Log Roll. One was a masterpiece. One was a complete disaster.

The cupcakes were exceptional, for my never having done such a thing before (that is, making filled cupcakes, along with making my own lemon curd filling). They were light, fluffy, sweet, lemon-packed, and delicately flavored.

The log flopped dismally. I had never done a cake roll before -- which, for those of you who don't know, consists of you actually having to roll a cake into a spiral. This led to nothing more than a sheer disaster of epic preportions. Needless to say, it broke. Badly. And I burned my first batch of lemon filling. Ew. Let's not talk about this one anymore.....

However, all of these lemon recipes and their varying results have drawn me into a bit of a theological moment. Bear with me.

Cooking is a bit like life. Okay, it's a lot like life. Particularily, my life.

In one sense, cooking is one of those things over which you have a certain degree of control. You measure out the ingredients, you decide what you're going to prepare, and you balace out everything with a certain measure of decisiveness that makes you the master of your kitchen and all within.

Then a pot boils over. Filling scourches. Cakes break. Milk spoils. You run out of batter amid a half-finished alfredo sauce. You slam your fingers in the trash can drawer and end up abandoning your cupcake curd in order to run into the ER for a potentially fracture finger.

Life looses control. I guess you can say that things that once seemed to be completely within your control...well, they explode epically. Which is how life has been for me recently.

At least I know that I have a great King in Heaven who has read the end of the Book and knows exactly how the finished product will turn out. Thank You, God, for that assurance.

With all this weddingplanning and the entire process, life has seemed to spin away from me at times. Planning a wedding isn't exactly one of the easiest things I've ever attempted. However, I know that when I walk down the aisle and see my beaming groom standing at the end, waiting for me, it will all fade away. I cannot wait for that day!

And I still know that my Heavenly Groom sees me, His flawed yet beloved Bride, and beams at me with all the love He possesses. I am His prize -- His masterpiece, His epically perfect cupcake! And that makes it all worth it in the end!

Not As Easy As It Seems.....

I have 45 days until my wedding. This is not something that I ever would have anticipated writing about at the age of [almost] nineteen. And to be honest, I'm terrified. It's a strange, unearthly feeling to be doing all these things in preperation for the biggest day of any woman's life.

All my friends are packing for college; I'm packing to move into my new apartment with my new husband.

My friends are going over class schedules; I'm going over countless "to-do" lists and guest lists and catering lists and....

I'm the odd one out. I'm alone. I hate being alone.

I'm unlike any other high school graduate I know. No one else is planning a wedding; they're planning their educational futures. I'm planning on going to college....just not right away.

I know I'm disappointing so many people by not racing off to one of the many universities that I've dreamed of attending since I was old enough to know what college was! I know that so many people are looking at me and thinking, "Her parents are crazy for letting her do this! What are they thinking?!" And trust me, not all of them are keeping it to themselves.

My parents are getting some very tough feedback, and it's killing me to see my parents going through something like this on my account. Plus, when Jon and I fight, I know they worry that our marriage isn't gonna do very well. I mean, we're not gonna get divorced, but there is a chance we will make one another extremely miserable. Honestly, it worries me a little bit, too.

I'm being honest here.

For me, a wedding isn't the big thing that I need to be planning for; it's the marriage that comes afterwards. I'm seeing so many marriages falling apart around me due to arguements that can't be resolved, unfaithful spouses who aren't getting their needs met and are running to someone else to fill that gap.....it's not an easy world in which to stay married.

I love Jon with all my heart. He's the only one that I can see myself being with in this way. I love his laugh. His sense of humor. His eyes when he looks at me in "that way." The way he sings, even though he knows how bad he is and how he just doesn't care! The way he kisses the side of my head or my hand while he's driving.

But there are times when he drives me crazy, and I blow up at him. I disrespect him or treat him like an idiot. I crush his dreams. I break his heart.

Marriage is a forever commitment. It's a covenant. God sent His beloved Son to earth to shed His blood for me. It's not something that He ever goes back on. He doesn't look at me, covered in the filth of my sin and say, "Well, that's it for her. She just keeps disappointing Me, so I'm just not gonna love her anymore."

Not even close.

He forgives me every time I stumble and break His heart. He looks at me the same way He did when I first came to Him. I'll always be His Bride, His beloved. Nothing I can do will make Him stop loving me. Nothing.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor light, neither angels or deamons, neither the present nor the future, or any power, neither hight nor depth or anything else in all creation will seperate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, our Lord."

I just pray that I can learn to love Jon the way that God loves me. If I can do that, there is not a chance in this world that our marriage will fail. God, empower me.....

The Inspiration

This blog is a dream. The start of something new and unchartered. I feel like Colombus, attempting to explore and chart out unseen territory with nothing more than his compass and his faith to guide him.

That is where I am.

It was Julie Powell that inspired me to begin this. I know that most of America knows her because of the newly release movie, Julie and Julia, that was just released in theaters. Perhaps I may seem to be nothing more than a mindless clone, simply following a legend. However, this is the truth. It's thanks to Julie, my fiance, and God that this idea is even remotely moving forward.

Julie Powell set out to do the impossible. More than 500 recipes in 365 days, following in the footsteps of one of the greatest chefs ever born. A desk clerk who hovered over phones became a blogging icon in less than one year. She was bursting with potential. So am I.

So this is solo Deo gloria. To the glory of God. And perhaps this will turn out to be nothing more than a checkpoint that my friends and family read. Perhaps it will sweep across the world. I don't know. All I know is that I am going to give it everything I have. I will captivate you. All I have is me and my thoughts.

So here I go....